Trouble accepting compliments? Holistic health & wellbeing practitioner and author of new book, Manifest Your Everything Nicci Roscoe reveals why you should learn to accept compliments as it can be beneficial for your health
Compliments can be a great confidence booster, but if you have limiting beliefs about yourself, or your confidence is low, they can be hard to accept and acknowledge.
The way that we perceive ourselves can be very different to the way others perceive us. How we look in a photograph, video footage, or how we dress can look completely different in our own eyes, so we can be a lot more critical as a result.
One of the keys to accepting compliments is learning to love yourself and accepting who you are. By looking at your own positive qualities and believing that you are unique and important you can rewrite your own script and change what you tell yourself.
Many people can find it difficult to accept, either because they feel embarrassed or unworthy of the compliment
It’s your choice to choose what you think, feel and say. By making the right choices for you, these will be positively powerful and empowering and help build your confidence and feel good mentally and physically.
Having someone say that you look nice is a huge compliment. Many people can find it difficult to accept, either because they feel embarrassed or unworthy of the compliment. Inwardly you may feel good about it, but you cannot show your delight or enthusiasm because you lack that self-confidence.
The more that you say thank you and accept the compliment, the more you can boost your confidence from within.
READ MORE: How to regain lost confidence – an expert’s guide
Compliments can also serve you in other ways. Here are some positive ways to help you accept them…
Focus on positive affirmations
Compliments can encourage positive thoughts when you are open to them and accept what is being said to you. The more you focus on positive self-talk these thoughts can inspire and motivate you to build self-confidence and become embedded in your subconscious mind.
By focusing on these positive thoughts, you can create your own positive affirmations. These are empowering words or short sentences that will constantly remind you to change negative thoughts to positive ones.
Examples include ‘I believe in myself’, ‘I trust myself’, ‘I value myself and my feelings’, ‘I feel confident from within’, and ‘I trust my intuition’. By listening to your intuition this will enable you to clarify what you are feeling and see things more clearly.
Compliments can encourage positive thoughts when you are open to them and accept what is being said to you
Write your affirmations down and take a photo of them on your phone to look at during the day. Stick your positive affirmations on the wall in your bedroom and fridge door where you see them every day. Or make a feature of them by getting creative with different colours and put some in a photo frame.
Keep reminding yourself of the unique beautiful person you are. Once you are in touch with your emotions and feel confident within, you will begin to feel more comfortable to accept compliments and your confidence will thrive. Keep practising your affirmations and positive thoughts will begin to flow naturally.
READ MORE: ‘Don’t tell me to cheer up’ – 10 positive mindset steps for your Mental Health
Say goodbye to ‘energy drainers’
Stop letting people who are constantly being negative about themselves influence you and make you feel bad about yourself. Energy drainers have their own issues and tend to focus on everything negative including you.
Surround yourself with people who have a positive energy, give compliments, make you laugh, feel relaxed, calm, and happy
By accepting compliments and opening yourself up to feeling positive, others will find you a positive influence to be around. They will also be inspired by you and the way you have accepted yourself and show yourself love.
Surround yourself with people who have a positive energy, give compliments, make you laugh, feel relaxed, calm, and happy. These people will lift your mood, boost your energy, inspire you and are positive motivators instead of being ‘energy drainers’ that deplete you of your own energy.
See the good in yourself
By accepting and acknowledging compliments this can help you to focus on the good things about yourself and boost your self-worth. If you’re constantly focusing on what you don’t like about yourself then your subconscious mind will keep sending you these messages.
When given a compliment tell yourself positive things like ‘I look nice today’ and ‘I’m good at my job and I know what I’m doing’ and start believing it. You may find this challenging at first, but continuous practice will help.
READ MORE: Learning to love yourself: 7 ways to overcome self-doubt
Retrain your brain and delete negative thoughts
When you have been focusing on the negative for a long time, you need to train your brain to start thinking positively and change the outcomes of your behaviour toward both yourself and how you come across to others, especially when given a compliment.
These negative beliefs can change your mood, so you may think you are not worthy of any compliments from a work colleague or boss for example – even if you’ve been working hard and know you’ve done a good job.
Remind yourself of what you have achieved and reframe your thought process to be proud of yourself and happy to have been complimented. And if you’re on your perfect dream date remember you are good enough, instead of telling yourself you aren’t. The other person is probably just as nervous as you are, and compliments are a good way of helping break the ice and feel more relaxed with each other.
Smile and laugh and allow the love hormone oxytocin to kick into action instead of getting embarrassed
Change your perspective. Smile and laugh and allow the love hormone oxytocin to kick into action instead of getting embarrassed. By reframing your negative thoughts this will help you to look at things in a different way.
The more you practice reframing your thoughts, the more you can change your mindset to a positive one and start feeling happier and relieved from not constantly focusing on what hasn’t helped you mentally or physically.
When you’re given a compliment and any unwanted thoughts come into your mind tell yourself to STOP! Imagine you have a red traffic light in front of you and then count backwards from ten. Practise out loud at home. This will interrupt your negative thought pattern.
Now imagine a green traffic light and tell yourself ‘GO!’ with a positive thought or acceptance of what you have just been told. Focus on it and break the cycle of negative self-talk.
READ MORE: Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset – which one leads to success?
Keep Smiling!
Smiling changes how you feel from the inside out. The more you practise smiling when you’re given a compliment the more you will believe in what you are being told and feel so much better.
A smile also radiates love, warmth, and happiness to others, is a wonderful stress-reliever, and helps boost your mood. Even when you give a false smile there’s something inside you that’s saying, ‘Come on, you can do this’. So, let go of these negative, stressful feelings and just SMILE!
Smiling releases endorphins in the same way that happens when you work out at the gym
Smiling releases endorphins in the same way that happens when you work out at the gym or go for a fast walk-in nature. You still use your muscles to smile and there are lots of other benefits too, including reducing overall blood pressure and helping with pain.
Smiling helps you feel so much better about you and just like the song Keep On Smiling’ reminds us ‘when you’re smilin’ the whole world smiles with you’.
Embrace every compliment, believe in you and keep on smilin’!
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