Menopause App

Digital Packs Banner Digital Packs Banner


How to regain lost confidence – an expert’s guide

How to regain lost confidence - an expert's guide MAIN

Has your confidence taken a knock? Holistic health & wellbeing practitioner, and author of new book, Manifest your Everything Nicci Roscoe, reveals her tips on how to regain lost confidence 

If life experiences have knocked you down, it can affect your confidence and self-esteem, leaving you feeling lost and helpless. It can be challenging to make positive changes and a lack in confidence can drain you mentally, as these feelings and thoughts take you on an emotional rollercoaster.

It is possible to regain self-confidence when you focus on making choices to change a negative thought process to a positive one.

By focusing on letting go of any negative emotions that don’t serve you and by giving yourself the love and self-care you need, it will help you take back control mentally.

Remember, it’s your choice to choose what you think, feel, and do

When you begin to feel the strength and courage from within you can then start to make positive changes to regain your lost confidence.

Remember, it’s your choice to choose what you think, feel, and do! Negative feelings don’t have to last forever. You can change them and discover your way back to your own positive path of confidence, giving you the power to speak out, feel positive and happy.

Here are my top tips for regaining lost confidence…

Tip #1 Positive Self Talk

What you tell yourself can have a profound effect on how you feel. Perhaps you are afraid to say goodbye to a past relationship? Or maybe you’re still upset and angry with a loved one, friend, or family member and not able to forgive them.

The more you let go of negative thoughts and forgive, the more you will be able to give yourself what you need to build confidence. To encourage positive self-talk and build self-confidence, tell yourself positive affirmations, or to put it simply, empowering words that remind you regularly to change negative thoughts to positive ones.

Examples include I believe in myself, I trust myself; I value myself and my feelings, I feel confident from within, and I trust my intuition.

Listening to your intuition can enable you to see, hear, and feel things more clearly. Once you are in touch with your emotions and feel confident within, you can begin to build more trusting relationships with the right people and your confidence will thrive.

READ MORE: Yoga, Pilates, Barre – what’s the best workout for your Zodiac Sign?


Tip #2 Focus on the Good Things

Focusing on the good things about yourself can help boost your confidence and self-worth. If you’re constantly focusing on what you don’t like about yourself then your subconscious mind will keep sending you these messages.

Tell yourself: ‘I am a beautiful person inside and out.’ Start believing this. Start loving the beautiful you. You may find this challenging at first but keep doing it.

Continuous practice—or, as I like to call it, the three ‘P’s’—is essential, so remember to Practice, Practice, Practice.

Repeat again: ‘I am a beautiful person inside and out.’

keep coming back to these words such as ‘I feel confident, positive, calm and relaxed’

Discover clarity, peace, calm and a new focus when meditating. This will help you to release any tension you are feeling in your mind and body as you begin to feel better about yourself.

There are different ways to meditate including focusing on your breath, visualization, the Mind Meditation Word Meditation where you repeat positive words repeatedly and allow anything else to just flow out and keep coming back to these words such as ‘I feel confident, positive, calm and relaxed’.

Tip #3 Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Comparing yourself to those around you is an easy way to sabotage your self-confidence. It’s easy to let these thoughts into your head if you’re feeling vulnerable.

So, take control and believe that you can choose what you think and feel, and what you say to yourself. If a family member or friend is going through a tough time, avoid letting them drain your energy. Being supportive is fine, but you don’t have to take on their ‘issues’.

It’s the positive words you tell yourself that will help you feel good. What you say and how you learn to manage different situations will have a positive impact on your outlook. When you start realizing this, the universe will hear you. It will keep sending you the courage and confidence you are wishing for.

READ MORE: Feeling ‘meh’? Everything you need to know about anhedonia – the missing word in mental health


Tip #4 Exercise Your Way Back to Confidence

Exercise gives you a boost mentally and physically. It’s one of the best alternative medicines to help you regain your confidence and feel good about yourself.

Work out in the gym, have fun in a dance class, take a walk-in nature or practice yoga, Pilates, and other forms of exercise to awaken your spirit to feel positive and happier.

By releasing your happy hormones called endorphins this will help enhance your mood and boost your confidence.

Tip #5 Get A Confidence Boost from Crystals

  • Crazy lace agate is a wonderful stone to give you confidence, alleviating self-doubt.
  • Blue lace agate and kyanite are also amazing crystals that help you say what you are feeling without any self-doubt.
  • Black obsidian will help you to feel stronger and gets rid of any insecurities that you are feeling.

Keep your crystals with you. Hold them when you feel you need to. Keep them by your bed at night. Sleep with them under your pillow or hold the one you feel more compelled to.

Tip #6 Be your own Biggest Cheerleader

Giving yourself encouragement can enhance your confidence and help you feel better about yourself. It can also enable you to keep going and believe in your achievements and what you can do.

This is another positive message you can send to the universe. The more encouragement you give yourself, the more the universe will hear you and keep sending you more as you manifest what you wish for.

The more encouragement you give yourself, the more the universe will hear you

It’s simply focusing on what you have achieved and can achieve. Encouragement also comes when you surround yourself with positive people who care, and you are grateful to those who have encouraged and supported you.

To learn how to be your biggest cheerleader and self-supporter, in-person workshops and courses can be a powerful tool.

My next Boost Your Confidence, Feel Good and  Get Inspired workshop takes place on the 3rd July and will give you the tools you need to grow in confidence and understand your own needs, all whilst meeting like-minded people and learning different, powerful exercises and techniques which can really help to regain lost confidence.

READ MORE: Learning to love yourself: 7 ways to overcome self-doubt 


Tip #7 Anchor A Positive Memory

Anchoring is a way of connecting a positive memory where you felt particularly confident with a physical action. This enables you to bring the energy of the memory into the present moment to help you feel good.

To anchor effectively for self-confidence, think of a time you felt happy and confident, visualize your surroundings and people you were with. Then, squeeze your thumb and forefinger together on one hand. Feel these good, confident feelings. Make them bigger, brighter, and bolder.

See yourself feeling confident and empowered and imagine stepping into the moment. Turn up the volume. Double this feeling, then triple it. Make it even bigger and brighter and your self-confidence will flow. Stay in this happy, confident place for about 30 seconds and keep repeating whenever you need to.


The Healthista Menopause Pack is a fully comprehensive online video workshop, led by Dr Dawn Harper; affordable, accessible and covering all aspects of the menopause, for those who need it most.

With expert advice and information from seven credible menopause industry experts, we hope that this online resource will help women navigate common health and wellness changes and challenges they may experience before, after and during the menopause.

Like this article? Sign up to our newsletter to get more articles like this delivered straight to your inbox.

More Healthista Content