THIS is the key to great sex MAIN

THIS is the key to great sex

Psychotherapist and We-Vibe spokesperson Rachel Wright reveals that the key to great sex lies in a simple human behaviour – communication

Most of us aren’t taught how to communicate in general, let alone about a subject many of us struggle to discuss. I am of course talking about S E X.

Communication is about giving AND receiving information, and believe it or not, great sex comes from excellent communication. That is, communication that is honest, tender, gentle and assertive.

It’s up to all partners involved not to take things too personally – meaning, if your partner re-directs you sexually, it’s not because you were doing something ‘wrong’, but that for their body and their needs, there is a way they enjoy it more.

Good sex is about being attentive, open-minded, and a team player

Always remember that sex isn’t about being ‘good’. Good sex is about being attentive, open-minded, and a team player, and good sex usually follows good communication.

Communication, in my opinion, is VITAL for great sex – meaning sex that is connected, caring, fun, safe and attentive.

Without communication during sex, there’s a lot more room for error, hurt feelings, and triggers to occur.

Communication during sex is essential for each person involved to feel seen, pleasured, safe, and comfortable.

Here’s the deal, our bodies are constantly changing, our preferences are always changing, and what we like is continuously changing – sex is no exception.

Also, orgasms and pleasure happen in the brain, so if we are holding onto a thought or feeling, it can be hard to fully be present and enjoy the moment.

communication is key to great sex intimate couple

How to improve communication with a partner for great sex?

If sex communication is feeling rocky, try talking about sex outside of the bedroom.

Sometimes, when tough conversations are brought up in the bedroom, it can feel particularly vulnerable, which can ultimately lead to one or all partners not feeling fully comfortable.

Talking outside the bedroom, in a neutral space, is far more likely to ensure that everyone feels comfortable.

try talking about sex outside of the bedroom

Also, talk about things YOU like because YOU are the only one who knows your body. Remind your partner that you enjoy being intimate with them and that to best understand each other’s bodies, you have to express to each other how your body best receives pleasure.

Unfortunately, relationship communication isn’t taught in school (why not?!), so you need to seek out resources. Take a communication class or attend workshops for extra guidance.

Dealing with awkwardness

It’s only awkward if we make it awkward. It might feel uncomfortable, but remember that uncomfy isn’t bad!

Most of us grew up with minimal sex education and were told that conversations around sex should be awkward – but it doesn’t have to be – just talk about it.

If you enjoy cuddling and talking afterward because it makes you feel cared for, ask for that. Is there is something your partner does that bothers you, tell them.

If you have triggers around specific sexual acts, tell your partner you have things you like to avoid (you don’t have to say why or what they are, but let them know).

communication is key to great sex intimate couple awkward on bed

Don’t be afraid to ask questions

Being curious about your sexual partners can be so sexy!

Also, be open to critique, change, and receiving feedback. Openness to those conversations will always deepen intimacy, connection, and likely enhance your sexy bedroom experiences.

Having someone and being someone who wants to understand your partner, their body, and their preferences is an excellent way to start the uncomfortable conversations about sex AND make people feel so much more comfortable.

More Healthista Content:

How to be successful: 8 ways to master your physical intelligence

6 tips for supporting your digestive system through menopause

Foodie Friday vegan recipe: smoked tofu & vegetable skewers with spicy peanut dipping sauce

5 natural substances for pain relief

A gynaecologist’s guide to pelvic pain

< Back

Also in this week’s magazine

Sore joints Tired Feeling down Here’s what can help this winter woman with sore joints

Feeling down? Sore joints? Tired? Here’s what can help this winter

Whether you’re suffering from joint pain, disturbed sleep or just feeling down in the dumps, you are not the only one. Healthista speaks to the experts

7 benefits of taking a ‘brain break’ FEATURE
Mood and Mind

Feeling burned out? 7 benefits of taking a ‘brain break’

If you are feeling burned out, it may be time to take a 'brain break'. Coaching Trainer Liam James Collins, explains the seven benefits of rest

3 ways to speak to your partner about their mental health FEATURED
Mood and Mind

3 ways to speak to your partner about their mental health

Can’t get your other half to open up? Try these 3 mental health tips for a happier, harmonious relationship with your partner

How to eat, exercise and live in sync with your menstrual cycle FEATURED

How to eat, exercise and live in sync with your menstrual cycle

Feel like you're a slave to your menstrual cycle? P.volve trainer Alexia Acebo reveals how you can sync your periods to your workouts, meals & mood 

6 ways to overcome self-doubt - an experts guide FEATURED

6 ways to overcome self-doubt – an expert guide

Feelings of self-doubt stopping you reaching your full potential? Coaching Trainer & Co-Founder of The Coaching Masters, Liam James Collins is here to help

How To Find Your Inner Confidence And Keep It FEATURED
Mood and Mind

How to boost your self esteem and find your inner confidence

Jim Rees aka the Emotional Intelligence Guru and Author of Vicious Cycle reveals how we can boost our self esteem and find our inner confidence

Latest Video Series


Wellness Weekly

I agree to my personal data being stored and used to receive the Healthista newsletter.


STOP - Healthista needs you!

Tell us what content you want more of...

MenopauseFitness VideosPost-partum careSexual wellness