Your thinking could be the reason your bank balance isn’t what you wish it was. Wealth coach Salma Shah identifies the beliefs that can stop rich thinking, especially in women and has advice on how to save money
There are few topics in life which make most of us feel uncomfortable, to the point we just avoid talking about them altogether. Religion, politics and the big one that is money. According to predictions by Deloitte the gender pay gap isn’t forecasted to close until 2069. Even if there was no gender pay gap you still need to be smarter and savvier about earning, saving and spending your money.
Who hasn’t fantasized about a lottery win and that dream lifestyle of financial freedom? Yet talking frankly and openly about your desire for more money is still a big taboo. Instead we carry on with our lives with business as usual; struggling to save, invest and improve our financial situation. Instead leaving it to chance or fate that our money problem will magically sort itself out.
The following five reasons are why are struggling to save and improve your financial wealth:
1. You don’t respect money
Emily* as a child grew up in a financially affluent but emotionally starved home. She was from a large extended family of business people who constantly fought, bickered and backstabbed each other over their financial empire. Eventually losing most of their wealth. Growing up her father was absent and her mother distressed and emotionally unavailable. The only escape from her dysfunctional family was to move to a different country and never return home. Her subconscious money story was that money is evil and the root cause of her family’s unhappiness. As an adult she would proudly declare that money wasn’t important to her and she was above the greedy pursuit of wanting to earn more money. The reality was despite her professional respectful career she was miserable, always broke and close to bankruptcy. Deep down she wanted to sort out her money issues but subconsciously chasing her natural desire for more money was far more traumatic. Although she deeply wanted to improve her situation her disrespect for money was holding her back from going for promotion, negotiating a pay rise or starting her own business.
You can’t expect to attract money if you don’t respect it.
2. Your mind is not programmed for it
The biggest stumbling block to solving our money issues is understanding how we relate to money at a much deeper level. It’s our subconscious money belief story. We are born with no set thoughts, ideas, belief or attitudes towards money itself.
Very early on in our lives as small children we start acquiring and absorbing ideas and experiences about money through our environment and surroundings. These ideas are filtered through to the grooves of our sub-conscious where they become stuck, fixed and in some circumstances self-limiting our future financial success. This money mindset programming is happening at a time in our young lives when we aren’t capable of fully understanding and questioning if our money belief story is grounded in reality or otherwise.
as small children we acquire our ideas about money through our environment and surroundings
As adults our money beliefs and attitudes on the surface may appear grounded and rational. However, if you are feeling stuck when it comes to money, whether it’s struggling to save or put yourself out there, start your own business and go for that pay rise. It’s most likely that a limiting subconscious money belief story is actually running the show. Stopping you from achieving your money related goals.
In addition to these limiting subconscious beliefs for most of us who are struggling with saving there is usually also a lack of financial awareness and knowledge. Starting to understand money and finances can feel a bit like opening up the car bonnet for the first time. Overwhelming, confusing and not having a single clue where to start. The consequences are it feels a lot safer to stick your head in the sand and not take responsibility.
starting to understand finance can feel like opening up the car bonnet for the first time
The minute you decide to take a step and change your attitude towards money. The first biggest stumbling block will be your subconscious mind. The old subconscious beliefs will sabotage your success at the first step.
To help you get clear on your emotional relationship with money you’ve got to start feeling positive and focusing on money. Read Jen Sincero’s book You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth. It’s the ultimate self-help guide to overcoming and conquering unconscious money blocks. Also, The Wealth Chef: Recipes to Make Your Money Work Hard, So You Don’t Have To, by Ann Wilson. Another book is Get Rich, Lucky Bitch!: Release Your Money Blocks and Live a First Class Life by Duffield-Thomas.
Examples of self-limiting money beliefs are:
Money doesn’t make you happy – Ask yourself this? Does having no money make you happy? Struggling financially, being broke and not being able to afford things you want, adding to your credit card debt, worrying about paying bills or your next meal makes people far unhappier. Money does bring choices, security and more opportunities for freedom and fun.
Only greedy people chase money – there are many examples of people with vast amounts of wealth who have used their money to help others; Andrew Carnegie, Paul Newman and Anita Roddick are to name a few.
I’m not one of those people who will ever have a lot of money or I’ve missed the boat when it comes to money – this in itself is pulling the shutters down and even being open to having more money. Vera Wang is an example of someone who only started designing wedding gowns at 40 and is now an incredibly wealthy business woman.
3. You hang out with poor people
Always hanging out with family and friends who never have money just reconfirms your money scarcity mindset. And at a deeper level if and when you decide to step out and change your financial situation there will be a fear of upsetting and losing these relationships. Which means at a subconscious level it feels safer to be broke.
hanging out with friends who never have money just reconfirms your money scarcity mindset
When you decide to shift your perspective on money it’s wise to steer clear of those friends and family who have negative money beliefs. And those who constantly whine and complain about being broke. As you are re-wiring your own money story it will be easy for this to get sabotaged by negativity. If it’s a partner you live with or someone very close to you who is negative then avoiding isn’t easy. In those circumstances for now the best approach is not to share too much about what you are doing. Or why you want to change your money story. Instead seek out the company of those who have a positive and healthy money lifestyle you respect
4. You lack financial intelligence
Keeping silent about money worries and sticking your head in the sand only makes it worse. A good starting point if you want to start familiarising yourself with financial jargon and much more is savvywoman.co.uk. The next step is to arrange a meeting with an independent financial advisor.
5. Your self-talk is keeping you broke
Always saying or thinking, “I can’t afford it”, means that your every thought about money is negative. You will never get rich by focusing your thoughts on the negatives and constantly thinking about what is lacking financially. It’s a waste of your mental energy in a sea of frustration and scarcity. Instead practice training the mind on focusing on the positive around money. Try replacing self-limiting money beliefs with the following:
‘I am comfortable with having a lot of money’
‘My finances improve beyond my dreams’
‘Wealth constantly flows into my life’
‘I release all negative energy around money’
‘Money comes to me in expected and unexpected ways’
Salma Shah is a career psychologist working with women who want to build their personal brand as they step up or step out. Take her five day Personal Brand challenge and join The Next Chapter Work and Life Hub. Download Salma’s Dreaming to Doing E-course
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