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7 ways to get the most out of your relationship with social media

7 ways to get the most out of your relationship with social media MAIN

Find yourself mindlessly scrolling through social media? Before you know it 3 hours have passed. Multi award-winning energy and emotions expert Antonia Harman reveals 7 ways you can get the very best out of the platforms you use from her new book Energy Secrets

You may have noticed that social media immediately affects your energy and how you feel. Perhaps, after you have spent hours aimlessly scrolling through one of the social media platforms, you feel depressed or empty?

If so, you are not alone. These platforms are designed to keep you coming back, day after day, hour after hour.

Advertisers want you to find their products and services through social media. Celebrities, individuals and corporations want you to keep returning to their pages and feeds to keep their public profile up. Have you ever looked to see how much time you spend online on your phone? The statistics can be scary!

Have you ever looked to see how much time you spend online on your phone?

If you use social media well, it can be a great asset to your life and business. I want to teach you how you can get the very best out of the platforms you use – to ensure you feel positive, empowered and energetically full of life.

Here are my top tips for you to use to make sure the days of doom-scrolling and feeling energetically flat after using social media are in the past. Use these tips for a more positive, focused social media experience.

#1 Be highly selective about who you follow

Keep it positive – go for inspirational people and pages that make you laugh. Fun, beautiful and educational accounts that lift your spirits rather than darken your days. It’s good to be well informed and know what’s going on, but beware of falling down gloomy rabbit holes, spaces that deplete and upset you.

Every interest you have will be accounted for on social media, and the algorithms are very sophisticated. Simply search for your favourite things and applicable accounts will appear on your feed.

Social media can be a wonderful place to learn, grow and meet like-minded people. However, if you don’t like the way someone is behaving, take a break from them. You can mute, silence and block accounts if they are damaging to your mental health. This goes for celebs and brands, as well as friends.

If you feel someone is being creepy or is into something out of alignment with your values, just block them.

READ MORE: 8 signs you’re addicted to social media


#2 Choose peace over war by avoiding online confrontation

There is no need to get anxious by having arguments with random strangers or imaginary enemies. I’m sure that, at one time or another, most of us have engaged in heated debates on social media about politics, religion, people, etc.

In my opinion the problem with heated debates, especially online, is that everyone is trying to prove their point rather than listen and learn. No one is searching for a middle way, new knowledge or compromise. They just want to be right.

It’s impossible and fruitless to battle against someone who is determined to be correct. The more you battle, the more exhausted you become.

only go to war for things that truly matter and do it in the real world

Online war is endless and depleting; rather annoyingly, no one ultimately wins. These sorts of rows often get aggressive and even personal. It’s a nega-
tive, upsetting and depleting spiral sapping your energy; you could easily avoid all the upset, and conserve your energy, by scrolling past.

Remember, not everyone online is genuine – you could be fighting against a robot or a catfish (some- one pretending to be someone else). My advice is to avoid online drama altogether: only go to war for things that truly matter and do it in the real world. Save your energy for things that spark joy and things you need to do.

#3 Try not to mindlessly scroll

It’s easy to endlessly scroll through your feed and garner a plethora of random information. This has its merits when you have bountiful time; you can learn wondrous things and connect to amazing people.

Mostly, though, you probably just want to know what your nearest and dearest are up to. If that’s the case, rather than scrolling, go directly to your loved ones’ accounts to see their updates.

Click only on their pages and cut out the background noise. Or better yet, call them or arrange a meet-up. Also, make sure you have enough left in your tank for those closest to you.

READ MORE: 6 reasons social media is making you unhappy (and what to do instead)


#4 No phones during mealtime

Turn off your phone during meals, or at least don’t look at your socials. Mealtimes are for connecting with loved ones. Spending your whole time scrolling is bad manners.

Being distracted rather than present while you eat can also cause you to overeat. A great example of this is when you go to the cinema: you are so engaged in the movie and the epic sound effects that you don’t realise you have consumed a tub of popcorn larger than the average house cat!

If you were sitting quietly without a screen, you might have eaten less. If you are overweight and want to lose some, simply being more aware of what you eat by being present and avoiding screens, be they big or small, during meals can go a long way to aid your weight-loss journey.

Spending your whole time scrolling is bad manners

Try the game Meals with friends. If all of your friends are addicted to their phones, you could play a game at dinner. Stack all the phones in the centre of the table. Whoever crumbles first and reaches for their mobile must buy everyone dinner, or at least a round of drinks.

If you are playing in rounds, the person who crumbles has 30 seconds to check their phone and then re-stack. The night could be very expensive, or it could be free, depending on your levels of personal discipline!

#5 No phones before bed

Turn off your phone when you go to bed. Having your phone on keeps you alert, anxious and sleeping lightly. Your phone flashing, beeping or, worse
yet, ringing in the twilight hours will disturb your slumber.

The less good-quality sleep you have, the faster you decay – yes, I mean age. So, get your Zs by having your phone off.

If you have children or elderly parents, you may not want to turn off your phone in case there is an emergency call. If this is the case, consider getting a phone line installed in your bedroom that is exclusively reserved for loved ones in a pickle. Tell people to only contact you on that number in case of emergency.

blue light emanating from your phone or telly is said to damage your sleep cycle

If you are feeling hardcore, make a decision not to engage in social media after 8 p.m. That way, you can relax in the evening with a book or spend time with your family.

The blue light emanating from your phone or telly is said to damage your sleep cycle, so limiting screen time as you wind down is sensible. This is particularly helpful if you tend to argue with strangers online or get riled up while looking at your feed.

READ MORE: Is your Instagram making you ill?


#6 Consider simply taking a few days off

Detox. If you spend too much time online, take a few days off. You don’t need to announce it to the world. Just take a break and see how you feel.

#7  Plan your content, post it and leave

Even if you are using social media for work, you don’t need to spend your whole day there. Wean your way off your phone. You could start by reducing your screen time by 15, 30 or 60 minutes a day, depending on your current usage.

Alternatively, delete the apps and allocate 15 t0 30 minutes at the beginning and end of your day to catch up with messages via your computer. In that way the apps aren’t harassing you and you can still keep in touch.

start by reducing your screen time by 15, 30 or 60 minutes a day,

Or better yet, migrate your conversations to more communication-based platforms like WhatsApp or Telegram. See how you feel. Has your happiness increased with less phone time? If so, keep doing it; if not, keep doing it!


Once you have the knowledge about how to protect your energy and focus, it becomes infectious. You don’t want to look back on your time thinking you never achieved your full potential because you got distracted by modern-day technology.

You want to look back and know you used technology to help you; you used it at the right time and in the right way. The changes I have suggested you make are all quite small on their own but can have mighty results. Now that you have more knowledge, insight and confidence about ways to use social media, redirect your energy.

antonia harman social media tips energy secrets

Social media doesn’t need to deplete you; it’s just a tool. Make your online experience positive and uplifting by choosing to make it serve you and bolster your happiness.

Try allocating the time you would have spent online to something that makes you feel fulfilled, happy and positive. It’s easy to spend your free time on your phone
if you have nothing else to do, so find something else.

Get outside, take up a hobby, spend time with friends, exercise, learn a new skill or set up a side hustle. The choice is yours; you decide how you spend your time, so spend it wisely.

Energy Secrets by multi award winning energy and emotions expert Antonia Harman is available now.

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