When confident women stride into a room with an energy that says ‘I approve of myself’ do you wander how they gain that level of confidence? Annie Ashdown reveals seven things confident women do.
Let’s me make it clear, confident women are regular women with flaws, shortcomings and defects. Like of us they experience challenges and bad days, however because they have self- confidence, they don’t let any of this hold them back. Not everyone wants to become a world leader, but confident women become a leader in their own world.
What is fed into our subconscious between the ages of 0 to 5 is done so without our consent or knowledge. As we internalise everything as true, we record this as our own assessment of ourselves. If we were fed negativity from an early age we end up listening to our inner critic, which feeds us lies and often tells us that we are not important. But you can redress this.
1. They consider themselves important
Confident women respect themselves. They obtain self-respect by looking inside and pondering their shortcomings, rather than denying them. They know by feeling important, they respect their values instead of compromising them to gain external validation and violate their sense of right and wrong. They find the courage to own their truth so that everything improves in their life. Confident women:
- Dwell on their positive characteristics.
- Constantly remind themselves they are loving and lovable even if they make mistakes.
- Honour and value their principles.
- Respect their own needs and wants and do and say what feels right to them.
- Advertise their strengths, not their weaknesses.
2. They talk to themselves in a kind way
Confident women would never speak to their closest friends or their children in a cruel way, so they don’t speak to themselves that way. They praise and acknowledge themselves; they are cool about their imperfections. They are aware that if they were unkind to themselves, they would subconsciously attract others to be unkind to them. Confident women:
- Are aware of their triggers, beliefs and habits of their inner critic and reframe them.
- Are considerate to themselves
- Record every single success – whatever the size in their mind or in a success journal.
- Say over and over again ‘I am worthy’.
- Give up the compulsive need for approval.
3. They are comfortable being themselves
Confident women have self-acceptance. They embrace themselves as they are right now, regardless of their past, their mistakes or their weaknesses. They don’t always like everything about themselves, but have courage to be who they are. Paradoxically, people are misguided in thinking that they will be rejected if they reveal their true self, however they overlook the fact no one bids for a fake, the real deal is always more valuable. Confident women:
- Make amends to themselves.
- Accept they are perfectly imperfect.
- Appreciate, validate, accept, respect, cherish, like and honour themselves regardless of how others treat them.
- Believe authenticity is key.
- Know that all that glisters is not gold and therefore don’t get easily duped
4. They trust themselves and their intuition
Confident women are their own master and are best friends with their inner voice. They are comfortable being in charge of what they think, do and say, as they trust themselves. They know their intellectual mind is strong, yet their intuition is way wiser and far more accurate and they have learnt that the aim of their intuition is to get past their intellect. Confident women:
- Know their purpose.
- Practise self-discipline.
- Always remember the power of logic, feelings and intuition.
- Listen to their inner voice.
- Challenge all negative assumptions.
5. They keep their expectations high
Confident women know self-belief is the main pillar of success. Confident people have indestructible self-belief. They feel worthy of success, happiness and prosperity. Confident women:
- Change their perceptions.
- Are clear about their individuality and preferences.
- Are not discouraged by mistakes.
- Let go of self-defeating beliefs about what might happen in the future.
- Say to themselves over and over again ‘I am good enough.’
6. They take responsibility for their own lives
Confident women know it is their choice and responsibility to confront their fears or run away from them, be stressed, or be grounded, be lazy or be fit, be overweight, or be slim, get enough sleep, or be constantly tired, respond or react. They know that in order to be emotionally sober they have to be accountable for their life and understand self-responsibility is the foundation of empowerment. Confident women:
- Admit when they are wrong
- Set limits with others.
- Know self-care is not selfish, it is self-loving.
- Don’t wait to be rescued, instead take action.
- Are aware they have a responsibility to be good to themselves.
7. They are assertive
Confident women feel comfortable expressing how they feel. They do not waffle, or feel obliged to justify, defend or explain their reasoning. They know their rights, feel worthy, important and deserving. They are willing to be open and to compromise, as they do not always expect to get their own way. They have an ‘I like you, but I like me too’ approach. They face the other person, look them in the eye, and watch their words using ‘could’ ‘might’ instead of ‘should’ ‘must’. Confident women:
- Don’t allow anxiety to build
- Use anger to be assertive in a healthy way
- Have reasonable expectations of themselves and others.
- Decide what they need and ask for it
- Take advantage of opportunities
Annie Ashdown is the author of ‘The Confidence Factor’ is published by Crimson and is available to pre-order on Amazon now Find out more at annieashdown.com
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