The porn debate is a fierce one. Whether you love or hate it, it’s something many people are embarrassed to talk about for fear of judgement. Here, sex expert and blogger Katy Horwood explains why she loves porn
Porn – that age-old subject that people seem to endlessly be at loggerheads about. Some call it misogynistic, out-dated and, with its stylised, and often extreme, version of sex – potentially detrimental to a person’s sexual expectations. Others can’t get enough of it and see it as nothing more than an exciting way to spice things up, either alone or with a partner.
Myself? I love a bit of porn. And not your ‘feminized’ version either – not arty, beautifully shot, teasing porn (although make no mistake, I’m a fan of that too) but easily available, Redtube smut. It turns me on — both with a partner and on my own. It’s nothing I’m ashamed to admit either and neither should you be.
I love a bit of porn. And not your ‘feminized’ version either – not arty, beautifully shot, teasing porn (although make no mistake, I’m a fan of that too) but easily available, Redtube smut. It turns me on
Why? Well, firstly because, on face value, if something arouses you, and is not hurting anyone else, then why should you not enjoy it? We live in a supposedly liberated society and, with that, should come the freedom to get turned on by whatever you choose – and, sometimes, when I simply can’t be bothered to use my imagination, porn gets me off, in its basic, animalistic form, it gets me off without the effort.
Society still considers porn to be a predominantly male genre of entertainment and it is often criticised for being too male focused. Big plastic blondes being ‘pumped hard’ by huge c**ks – fake hair, fake teeth, fake boobs and not a pubic hair in sight – but there are a growing number of women who enjoy watching it too, myself included and, perhaps more importantly, a growing number of women who aren’t afraid to admit it either.
We live in a supposedly liberated society and, with that, should come the freedom to get turned on by whatever you choose
Make no mistake, I wouldn’t factor a two hour porn session into my daily itinerary, I’m what you would call a recreational user – and I take it with a pinch of salt. I’m certainly old enough, and almost wise enough, to enjoy it for what it is and not read too much into it beyond that. Cheap and tacky for the most part, but, if I’m in the mood, kind of horny too.
Nor do I choose to over-analyse it, and, where it is sometimes used as an example of exploitation or as comment on anti-feminism within society today, I watch it because I want to have an orgasm, it’s that simple. And I suspect the main reason most people watch it too – they use it as an addition or a bit of fun like blindfolds, crotchless knickers or role-play, a bit of extra fruitiness in the bedroom.
I watch it because I want to have an orgasm, it’s that simple.
For those who haven’t watched porn before and are curious to see what the fuss is all about, the bad news is it’s pretty difficult to find ‘good’ porn – with most of it being fairly naff and often basic in its subject and production – a lot of ‘oh yeah, baby, just like that’ which may fool the fellas but isn’t very good at pulling the wool over our eyes.
However, there are a few sites which market themselves as more female friendly – google ‘female friendly porn’ or ‘porn for women’ and you’ll come up with plenty to choose from (because it is out there). However if like me, you’re not too worried about how well-scripted and directed your film is and just fancy watching a bit of bonking, than either Pornhub or Redtube are widely considered the go-to free sites online – pretty cheap and cliche in their content but with an abundance of material catering for *all* tastes.
And for your partner’s involvement? Yes, absolutely bring it up if it is something you think you’d like to explore. Porn isn’t to everyone’s taste – (both women and men believe it or not) but, in an open and solid relationship – suggesting it shouldn’t cause offence or be taken personally (‘You can’t be sexually satisfied if you want to watch porn, it’s all about me!’ being the favourite cliche) and there is no reason why it shouldn’t be welcomed should both parties be curious about exploring it further – the worst case scenario is that your partner says no, the best case, they love the idea and you’ll have introduced a fantastic new dimension to your sex life.
the worst case scenario is that your partner says no, the best case, they love the idea and you’ll have introduced a fantastic new dimension to your sex life.
Porn is no substitute for sex, and much of it is just downright ridiculous, however – in the right mood, with the right attitude it can be an extremely positive addition to your sex life.
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Katy Horwood is founder of the award-winning blog, all-sweetness-and-life.com, focusing predominantly on dating, sex & relationships. Her work is open and honest and her blog is seen as one of the leading platforms in the sex & dating industry bringing up-to-date news, advice and reviews to its readers. Having written for over seven years on the subject, she is consider by many as the go-to sex & dating industry expert in the UK. Alongside her blog, Katy also writes for The Huffington Post, Match.com, Metro.co.uk and TimeOut.com along with a number of other well-respected sites, she speaks regularly on BBC and LBC radio and is one of the original ambassador for SexpoUK.
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